bad bianco.

i was filling up the fish sticks in the frozen aisle when this tall guy that looked suprisingly like u of i grad student, anthony bianco:

came up to me.

"Where is the olive oil."

i laughed right in his face.

"What's so funny?"

"Sorry, you just seemed so hopeless-like you've been looking for hours. Sorry, it's right over here."

we headed toward the grocery aisle. the layout in trader joe's makes a lot of sense if you just think about it for a second. i mean, we only have 5 aisles. cereals/nuts, grocery, frozen/crackers/cookies, health&beauty/pet food, and beer/chips. i don't understand how people get lost.

"Oh, I look down this aisle! Yeah, I looked over here-"

I then pointed to the right, at our 15 kinds of olive oil

"Oh, I only looked to the left"

"Oh! Well, you have to look both ways . . . before you cross the street, you know?" (this is how you talk when you work at trader joe's. you talk like an idiot.)

"Well, I'm a Liberal"

at this, i laughed again. because it was clever and unexpected.

"Touché"

then i walked away, back to my fish sticks.
working in the frozen aisle consists of grabbing a "lug" (our fancy name for a crate-thing full of food) from one end, walking it down the aisle whilst emptying it, and making a new empty stack at the other end. it's very exciting. and cold. so, while working frozen, most people wear gloves.

"Since you were so helpful the first time, I thought maybe you would be able to help me with something else"

my faux-anthony had returned.

"Oh! Sure!" (this is the false sense of excitement and importance with which we speak to all of our customers)

"Are you single?"

. . .

and i started laughing again. "Um, I'm married."

"You're married?!?" (as if i wasn't allowed to be. or, more likely, i was too young to be)

"Yeah, married. (as i whipped off my glove to show him my sparkles. like, proof, or something.) Um. . . yeah. Ugh, now I'm blushing" (cold frozen gloves feel nice on a red-hot face, by the way)

"Yeah, you are. . . um, well."

"Yeah, sorry. . ."

and the awkward departure ensued.